future 1.0.0(<-WTF?!?!)

hello world how are you? so you came across this this blog right and if you had a chance to lookaround i would like to ask you how is my blog how do you like it and what can i do to make you like it more i mean should like paste more pics...

or would you like to read more jokes like:

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" 

or just maybe some good old chuck norris.

you the reader/viewer/gamer decides and like I do as you command as long as you like maybe follow me or sigh up FOR feeds...  wow i am officially calling myself a follow whore but wtf you only live once. so ANYWAY be sure to comment because if you dont ill track you down and pee on your turtle... i am like totally biting that off in a way that you readers wont understand. The thing I realize about myself  is that deep deep down inside...so totally deep deep... is that I like apples... ok also humor you may not understand. so really common people os like that hard  like read a little   and then click a follow button i mean really hey i know how about follow for follow so anyway   COMMENT OR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND PEE ON YOU TURTLE... if you answer to that I do not have a stinking turtle then i would tell you to go... and buy me a turkey(yes i am going to make this a 'family friendly' (excluding the turtle peeing that is totally wrong(i'm not sure you can do what im doing here but what the... teriaki dippers(OK i spelled teriaki wrong))))... so i may soon add some surveys funny/short/  interesting ones so stay toned really DO.

more chuck norris

here's a funny chuck norris poster i just had to post

that is all

even more funny pics

real funny poster i found on the net if you do not know what that is well its something from the show doctor who made me laugh out loud

funny too i like this one you do not see something like that everyday

joke of the day 

Jack and Tom, are having a beer in a saloon when a cowboy walks in with an Indian's head under his arm. He hands it to the bartender, and the bartender hands him money. The bartender turns to them and says, "I hate Indians. Last week they burnt my barn to the ground and killed my wife and three kids. Anybody brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give them a thousand bucks." Jack and Tom guzzle their beers and leave to go hunt Indians. After a while, they finally spot one. Jack throws a rock, it hits him on the head, the Indian falls off his horse, and rolls seventy feet down a ravine. The two cowboys make their way down the ravine and Tom pulls out his knife to claim their trophy. Jack says, "Tom, take a look at this." Tom says, "Not now, I'm busy." Jack says, "I really think you should have a look." Tom says, "Asshole, can't you see I'm busy? I've got a thousand dollars in my hand." Jack says, "Please, Tom, take a look." Tom looks up at the top of the ravine, and there's five thousand Indians standing there. Tom says, "Fuck! We're gonna be millionaires!"

you find humor everywhere

that is reall funny could you think of something like that.

hehe funny there is no skeletons in that pic, while we are talking about obama here are some obama jokes

''Did you see this on '60 Minutes' last night? Michelle Obama is planting a vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy's bad when the Obamas are afraid of running out of food.''

''That's pretty amazing, Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Ironically, his biggest accomplishment as president so far: winning the Nobel Peace Prize.'' —Jay Leno

''Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the campaign is really over. Remember before the election? 'The audacity of hope!' 'Yes, we can!' 'A change we can believe in!' Now it's, 'We're all screwed.''' —Jay Leno

''President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel committee said they wanted to recognize the president's fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer.'' —Jay Leno

they would be funny if not so true

a new post, a new pic

Ok i googled "funniest pic of all time" and here is one of my favorite pics on there is


funny huh its sad in a way what is happening to america so in order to cheer you up


what is there left to say lol but i will say go to a funny blog who is run by a guy likes cheese so visit and have a good laugh

funny pic plus beer trouble shooter

I see people on the net like funny i like funny, funny is funny therefore has to be liked by people



How would you like to have something like that on your head? Funny so do you like it?

Funny joke:

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

So did you have a good laugh? If so tell me about it!

i'm back

Hello everyone i have decided to continue this blog but not with chuck norris jokes but something that is more funnier you may not know me but know that i am using my phone to blog and an using this blog to expiriment posting images using html so here goes!




so did it work do you see a retarded bull doing some retarded stuff if you do can you tell me if it fits in good. Thanks :)

know for a funny joke:

A man comes home late one night, drunk.

"Where have you been?" asks his wife.

"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!"

This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.

"Do you have golden chairs?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden glasses?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden beer?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a golden urinal?"

"Hold on." On the other end, she hears "I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone."