future 1.0.0(<-WTF?!?!)

hello world how are you? so you came across this this blog right and if you had a chance to lookaround i would like to ask you how is my blog how do you like it and what can i do to make you like it more i mean should like paste more pics...

or would you like to read more jokes like:

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" 

or just maybe some good old chuck norris.

you the reader/viewer/gamer decides and like I do as you command as long as you like maybe follow me or sigh up FOR feeds...  wow i am officially calling myself a follow whore but wtf you only live once. so ANYWAY be sure to comment because if you dont ill track you down and pee on your turtle... i am like totally biting that off in a way that you readers wont understand. The thing I realize about myself  is that deep deep down inside...so totally deep deep... is that I like apples... ok also humor you may not understand. so really common people os like that hard  like read a little   and then click a follow button i mean really hey i know how about follow for follow so anyway   COMMENT OR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND PEE ON YOU TURTLE... if you answer to that I do not have a stinking turtle then i would tell you to go... and buy me a turkey(yes i am going to make this a 'family friendly' (excluding the turtle peeing that is totally wrong(i'm not sure you can do what im doing here but what the... teriaki dippers(OK i spelled teriaki wrong))))... so i may soon add some surveys funny/short/  interesting ones so stay toned really DO.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.

Chuck once got shot in the head. He then proceeded to surgically remove the bullet with his beard as foreceps and then ate it because his daily iron count was low.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, Don't worry about it honey, and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, Never question Chuck Norris.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

There are actually 8 wonders of the world. Chuck Norris counts for 4 of them.

The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal.. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the fuck out.

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the kingshorses and all the kings men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris was once walking along the Sahara Desert when he decided he needed shelter from the sun. So he stared at the sand until it melted into 2 ton blocks. He then made his shelter which we now call the Great Pyramids.

Chuck Norris was not alowed to be a part of UFC,NFL,PGA,NBA,NHL or any Olympic event for fear that too many deaths would occure

Chuck Norris prefers Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper. When asked why, he responded, “I don’t trust doctors.” He proceeded to shot laser beams out of his eyes and ate the hearts of everyone in the room.

Chuck Norris is actually Jeeves from AskJeeves.com

In 1945, Adolf Hitler was really kicked to death by a five year old Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris was originally considered for the part of Jesus in the Passion of the Christ. However, the director realized that Chuck Norris cannot show the emotion of pain. He can only inflict it.

Chuck Norris' beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood and held together by the souls of mortals

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.

After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris

chuck norris facts

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.