Chuck Norris doesn't actually books, they assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.