Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.