chuck norris

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats blackholes. They taste like chicken.

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name, which happens to be "Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division"

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone